Sarah Speaks

Patience

12:10 AM - I open my mailbox and see that my “Learn to Spin” kit has arrived. I do a little happy dance.

12:15 AM - I sit down in a chair, glance at the one page of instructions that came with the spindle and roving, and attempt to jump right in.

12:16 AM - I throw the spindle down in frustration. A second later, I decided to blame the instructions and go to dig out the handspinning book I bought and read cover-to-cover two days ago.

12:18 AM - I’m ready to try again, sure that this time, with more detailed instructions and helpful pictures, I’ll have it down.

12:20 AM - I throw the spindle halfway across the room, angry at wool and yarn and the whole crazy idea of making something you can just buy.

12:21 AM - I, very calmly, pick up my materials and make my way to the computer, Holy Oracle of Truth and Enlightenment. It hasn’t failed me yet; surely it won’t fail me now.

12:25 AM - I click on a link that seems promising. The instructions make more sense this time, and I somewhat understand what my hands are supposed to be doing.

12:27 AM - I take a deep breath and decide to try one more time. I work as slowly as humanly possible, glancing up at the instructions every other second.

12:30 AM - I stare at the ugly, uneven bit of yarn I’ve managed to create, sure that it is absolutely the worst yarn ever spun in the history of the world. I hate it and I hate myself for making it. I nearly consider the idea of torching the whole thing in the kitchen sink.

12:32 AM - I browse through the “First Yarn” thread in the Beginning Spinners group on Ravelry. Lots of it looks like mine: uneven, weird, and not much like yarn at all. I begin to feel better.

12:35 AM - I remind myself that knitting was super hard when I first started, too. I didn’t think I’d ever get it down, and my garter stitch was uneven, weird, and not much like knitting at all. I decide to record the whole experience in my blog, in the hopes that next time, I’ll manage to avoid the frustration and anger. I do not have high hopes for this plan.

12:40 AM - I consider trying to continue to spin. Instead, I decide to count the six inches of sort-of yarn as enough of a victory for tonight and pick up my knitting needles instead.

Bits & Pieces

Christmas shopping is finally done!  I finished this morning, which was a big relief.  The wrapping is almost done - I'm just waiting for a few more things to be delivered.

I taught myself how to crochet while I was at work tonight.  A friend left a book about how to crochet at my house a while ago, and a few days ago I had to buy a crochet hook so I could pick up some dropped stitches on a hat I'm knitting, and I had some spare yarn lying around...so I figured that the fates just wanted me to learn.  It's obscenely easy, ridiculously fast, and nowhere near as pretty as knitting.  But that's just my opinion.  I'm glad I learned the basics, because sometimes patterns will combine knitting and crochet, and it will be nice to know I can do it.

Next up is handspinning.  I found a really cheap "How to Spin" kit on eBay that included a spindle and some wool, so we'll see how it goes.  This may be a sign that I'm getting way, way too into fiber arts (using the term "fiber arts" may also be a sign).  Before you know it I'll be buying raw wool, dyeing, spinning, and knitting it.  Someone stop me if I express a desire to start raising sheep in my living room.

Despite the sad circumstances, I'm ridiculously excited to see Mom and Dad soon.  Being together again will help balance out all the negative stuff that's been happening with us lately.

Did you know that you're no longer supposed to put two spaces in between sentences?  It's officially one space now, and evidently has been for a while.  I don't think I'll ever be able to break that habit.

Matt and I decided tonight that Heath Ledger's Joker is the best movie villain of all time.  The Dark Knight came out on DVD today, and Matt watched it twice in a row.  It is that good.  And, for anyone who hasn't heard yet, it's being rereleased in theatres in January.  If you haven't seen it, get thyself to a cinema!

We played Scrabble with Curt and Sam last night, which was awesome because I haven't played in forever.  I won the first game, and Curt won the second.  Does anyone know if "ibid" counts as a word or just an abbreviation?

I...have nothing else to say.  Hope all is well out there in the misty land of Blog Readership.

Parallel Worlds

Matt and I watched a show on the History Channel last night about parallel universes.  I usually don't like that channel because they dumb stuff down so much, but the topic was interesting enough to pull me in anyway.  I love that point where real-life science meets science fiction, when physics becomes so strange that it no longer seems like reality.  The most interesting part of the show was about an ongoing experiment that's trying to prove the existence of extra dimensions, which would in turn prove the existence of parallel universes.  They said it might take billions of tries before the particle reaction they want to see happens.  That's persistence, right there.

The other interesting thing about this kind of science is the way it intersects with philosophy.  For example, in the multiverse, there are infinite copies of me and they have done every possible thing there is for me to do.  There's a me that's a rock star and there's a me that's begging on the street.  Everything.  This is a problem when it comes to free will.  If every choice is made in some universe, is there choice at all?  Does such a thing exist?  And what about morality?  I know that it's morally wrong to shoplift, but after all, there's a me that decided not to do it, and there's a me that did it and got away with it, and there's a me that did it and got caught.  So doesn't it all balance out in the end no matter what I do?

This kind of thinking makes me unreasonably excited.  Matt doesn't understand.  I don't think many people would.  But today at work, a guy came through my line with some physics books, one of which was about parallel universes.  And he totally got it.

I love that about working at the bookstore.  When someone brings up something I love, and I tell them I love it too, it's a bit like finding a kindred spirit - especially if the item in question is something pretty obscure.  It's a really good feeling, sharing that little smile with them, as if we have some shared secret from the rest of the world.

One stitch at a time

Today (well, yesterday now, I suppose) I knit.

Let me explain. During the holidays, the bookstore I work at runs two calendar kiosks in the nearby mall. Being a new hire, three out of my four shifts a week are worked at one of these kiosks. They are...how shall I put this...less than busy. I spent perhaps 95% of my day sitting in a chair occupying myself quietly, 3% answering stupid questions, and 2% actually selling calendars. Most days, I take a book with me and read for seven hours. This is awesome. I love getting paid to sit and read. However, even a bookworm like myself needs a break once in a while. And a few days ago, I realized that I could take my knitting to the kiosk with me. Today was my first day doing so.

There is something about knitting that turns what should be an excruciatingly boring task into something calm, peaceful, meditative...even healing. Usually when I'm working, my thoughts are heavily tinged with anger, cynicism, and disgust. But today, sitting in my chair, letting the yarn run over my palm and through my fingers, carefully watching each stitch take its place in the larger pattern, I was happier than I've been at work in a very long time. When people asked me moronic questions, my smile was a bit more genuine than normal. When my back began to ache from the uncomfortable stool I sit on, I ran my hands over the fabric spilling out from my needles and felt a warm satisfaction at my accomplishment. When it was time to go, I was shocked at how fast the day had gone by - and even more shocked that I hadn't been checking the clock every two minutes.

I am a relatively new knitter. I picked up my first set of needles in February of this year, knit obsessively for a few months, stopped completely for a few more months, and then recently picked it up again. I can knit and purl. I can make scarves, hats, dishcloths, and socks. I love to knit cables and hate long patterns that I can't memorize but still have to repeat a million times. I'm still just beginning to learn the difference between acrylic, wool, and other fibers - how they feel in the skein, against your fingers, your face, your hand, how they change when knitted, how they smell, the emotions they invoke. What continues to astound me is how much more there is to learn and discover. I have barely scratched the surface. I'm so happy to have something in my life that is so very positive, that can keep me from becoming completely and irreversibly cynical.

Proof? I've started knitting blanket squares for charity. That sounds less like the me I know and more like the me I want to be.

Intro, or Reasons Why I Need Yet Another Blog

Welcome to Sarah Speaks.  As you may have guessed from the name of the blog, I'm Sarah. And as you, discerning reader, may have concluded from the title of this entry, I already have a blog.  Several,  in fact, with my LJ being by far the most used.  So I thought it only appropriate to start this one in the grand blogging tradition of telling you why it exists.

1. I'm very big into fandom.  It's a huge part of my world.  However, I will not be discussing fandom here.  That's what the LJ is for.  I'd like a place to talk about the rest of my life.

2. My parents recently moved to the other side of the country.  I love them and miss them, and I want to be able to stay in touch with them more than is possible with a phone.

3. I write.  I write quite a lot of fiction these days, but I was writing journal entries during class all the way back in elementary school.  I find that I express myself much better this way than I do speaking aloud.

4. I have a lot of interesting hobbies, but I don't do them all at once.  My interest goes in cycles, and it would be really nice to be able to look back and see exactly where I left off when I want to pick something up again.

5. I like to share my opinions, whether or not anyone's listening.

6. I live online anyway.

7. I really, really want to be able to share pictures.  I don't have a digital camera yet, but it's on my Christmas list...so hopefully, this blog will be much prettier soon.

8. All the cool kids are doing it.

9. Sometimes I do all my normal internet stuff and still want more.

10. I hate Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and most other internet inventions that supposedly allow you to keep in touch with people.  Blogs are just so much prettier and cleaner.  I may be all right (ok, more than all right) with clutter in my real life, but websites should be spotless.